Post graduation clarity

June 4th 2025. The day my long 4 year Bachelor's degree comes to a final end. Everyone is asking "Aren't you so excited to be done? You'll have so much time to focus on yourself now." My answer? No, not really. Was I excited to be done with school, yes. Was I excited to not have to do "homework", yes. But did I feel finished? Do I feel like the work is done? No. Not at all. The thing with pursuing a career in the arts is that you are never done. Learning, growing, working, stressing, and stretching yourself to reach your fullest potential.

Throughout the 4 years of college I maintained a full time job and by the end of Fourth year I worked 7 days a week managing 2 jobs, 1 full time and 1 part time sometimes working 13 hours at once. It wasn't the worst thing ever, also not the MOST enjoyable thing but I survived. I continued working like this for the next 3 months until I was comfortable in my financial situation to move on from my part time job that I've had since high school.

I've slowly started putting myself out there, gaining traction online, booking clients, assisting, working full time in retail and finding time to create. This just goes to show how little time I have after graduation. My schooling was never homework, it was never THAT annoying, or that painful, I wasn't studying for medical exams after all. I was expressing myself, preparing for clients in the future and doing work outside of the fun in studio sessions. I've learned to appreciate editing and late nights in front of the glow of my laptop, it was reality, it IS reality.

Will I eventually be able to stop working retail? Hopefully. Will I ever be able to slow down? Maybe, but probably not. I love the hustle, I love being busy, I love having something to do, and I love what I'm doing.

I don't think that the reality has hit quite yet that I am not returning to school and I am sure come September when I should be elbow deep in new assignments, I will feel different. And maybe I will miss having assignments and someone else pushing me to do something different. But I think it's time for me to find that within myself and get it done.

xoxo Abi!